CHARISMATIC MEGAFAUNA

By Quiconque

Don't get me started
2004-07-31
This just in: Ashy�s and my fellow alumnus, Harold Ford, Jr., has been profiled in Details magazine as the �Next, Next President.� No direct link to the article, but the reporter was very taken with Harold�s good looks.

Bourne Again

This Wednesday, Prima, La Belle Helene, and I saw The Bourne Supremacy at the only cheap and uncrowded first-run multiplex in Manhattan. No, I will not tell you where it is, because we want it to stay uncrowded. If you�re into gay film festivals, you probably know where it is already. (Note to the tetchy middle-aged queen who snottily blocked our access to the ticket machines: Step off, girlfriend.)

Prima has already claimed Matt Damon as her boyfriend, and I�m not even going to tease her that he might be gay, even though he confessed to Jay Leno that he would hang a poster of Brad Pitt on his bedroom wall. I will admit that he�s a good kisser on screen. Franke Potente is lucky. And, as we know from The Bourne Identity, that man does not only kill people with his bare hands, he�s good at cutting and styling hair, too.

I always leave such movies wishing I were a trained assassin instead of a grad student/library clerk/adjunct professor. Although being an anthropologist is a good cover for an assassin. Explaining the worldwide travel would be very easy. And I�d definitely have developed a strategy for dealing with lazy students of privilege who don�t want to do their writing assignments.

The movie also made me nostalgic for Paris, Munich, and Amsterdam. Unfortunately, Julia Stiles� character (Nicky) turns up again in Amsterdam. I wish Bourne had thrown her in a canal. Alas, of all the characters in the film, Nicky does not get the ending she deserves. Oh, and Carl Urban is HOT without the mullet and horsey helmet.

As in the first film, The Bourne Supremacy features a highly improbable and destructive car chase. It�s an effective driver�s ed video. Do not get behind the wheel if your emotions are out of control. Do not read the map while you�re driving. Do not administer frontier medicine to the bullet wound in your shoulder while driving through the streets of Moscow. (By the way, Muscovite taxicabs are all but indestructible. I predict that they will be this year�s Mini Cooper. I definitely want one.)

Best thing about this movie: Ben Affliction is not in it.


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LISTENING TO: The Jackson Five's Greatest Hits.

READING: Race, Discourse, and Power in France by Maxim Silverman.

WATCHING: The nature special that is my backyard.

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