CHARISMATIC MEGAFAUNA |
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By Quiconque |
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2004-05-22Camera ObscuraWhen you get 4 years' worth of film developed all at once, you're bound to find some surprises. The first surprise is how much it costs to develop 15 rolls of film. The second surprise is how many times certain hateful relatives have been to the house in 4 years. Other little surprises include how unflattering a particular bathing suit was, what the yard looked like before the pool, what my godson looked like without front teeth, and how many family gatherings were celebrated with elaborately constructed and colorfully frosted theme cakes. And then, in the middle of the pictures documenting my godson's 7th birthday at KidZone, appears this: Who are these women? None of us know. La Belle H�l�ne theorized that someone at KidZone picked up our camera by mistake. The picture is dark, but if you look closely you will see brown wainscoting on the wall behind the women. Brown wainscoting in a KidZone? Also, if you can make out the food, you'll notice the dark-haired woman is about to serve herself green beans. Green beans at an establishment dedicated to kids' amusement? Preposterous.Unable to answer how this picture was taken, we moved on to why. What is it about these two women that needed to be captured on film? As it is, they are in rather humdrum surroundings doing mundane activities. One woman is serving herself some beans. The second woman is chewing away. She looks like she cannot even be bothered with the first woman. They are proximate, but unconnected. The object of the photo is clearly the first woman. She's wearing sunglasses in a restaurant! Her hair is too voluminous to be real. She has obviously faked her own death, only to turn up at an Applebee's in lower Westchester and blow her cover. Someone wants us to find this woman. Perhaps there's a bounty on her head. Maybe we have to save her from a South American drug cartel what wants her dead. Mayhap she's a contract killer who's trying to leave the life. What we thought was just an error at the FotoMat might really be an international spy mission! Or maybe, somewhere, a woman who got her eyes dilated at the ophthalmologist two years ago is wondering who are the small brown children running around in the pictures of her retirement luncheon.
Something Entirely Unrelated but Amusing
Jon Stewart's commencement speech at William and Mary. |
addieplum ashyknees bevin dumbokie fresh peth la belle helene mr. snacks my adult life prettygirl prima rex kramer shasta red sooner squirma totally knitting waterlilysage yoko zantimisfit 'zaziel tomato nation cocktail heartless bitches miss manners bunny survival tests scary squirrel world angry alien not martha my theme song j.k. rowling four word film reviews chicklit napqueens geek-love anthropology | |
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