CHARISMATIC MEGAFAUNA

By Quiconque

Don't get me started
2005-01-21

Learning from Addiction, or How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

For Christmas, Super Fudge gave me a game that is known in some circles as �digital crack�. I�m talking about the Sims, �The Sims, Bustin� Out,� to be precise. Super Fudge was smart and got me the PS2 version. The Playstation is in my mother�s house. If I had the PC version no one would ever see me. Others have written about the undeniable lure of the Sims. I must tell you that I have spent many, many hours in my mother�s basement creating and maintaining lifestyles for my imaginary people. I�ve even begun to hear Sim-speak everywhere I go.

The goal in Bustin� Out is to move out of your mother�s house and get a job. (�You� in this case is the Sim. More on Sim/self identity issues later). There are a number of career tracks to choose from, and with each promotion you get to move to a nicer house. With each house comes a set of social and activity goals that you must accomplish in addition to your job requirements.

You also have immediate needs that must be met: food, cleanliness, sleep, social interaction, comfort, toilet, and house pride. Meet these needs and you are happy. Neglect these needs and you will find yourself peeing on the floor, falling asleep in the middle of the kitchen, and weeping uncontrollably. You also need to gain skills, make friends, and buy stuff to make your home more livable. Eventually you have to get married and have a child and then send that child off to prep school. Each accomplishment brings you closer to the ultimate goal of rising to the top of all seven career tracks and deposing the town�s big boss, Malcom Landgrabb.

My first Sim, Shauntee Jones, was not very successful. Poor thing, she moved out of her mother�s house before she acquired enough useful skills. I chose the Mad Scientist path for her, which meant her first step was to live in a trailer with a messy slacker. Shauntee was starved for fun and social interaction. Shauntee refused to study to build up her skills because she was always too depressed. Shauntee was regularly passed up for promotions because she went to work exhausted and unhappy. Shauntee was given to holding her head in her hands and sobbing loudly. After weeks of trudging along in misery, Shauntee decided to move back with Mom, only to have her roommate take all her hard-earned money on the way out.

I tried to draw a distinction between Shauntee and myself. Shauntee was more flamboyant than I. I dressed her in a hot pink bustier and gave her big hair with red highlights. She couldn�t be me, right? But, I must admit, as I saw Shauntee sink lower and lower into a well of sadness, unfulfillment, loneliness and job dissatisfaction, I couldn�t help seeing the parallels to my own situation. Wait, isn�t this a game? If I wanted to see a thwarted, would-be scientist living in a filthy house with no social life who can�t study because she�s too depressed I could just look in a mirror, no need to turn on the game console.

So, Shauntee was deleted and Shawty Conner was born. Only phenotypically similar to Shauntee, Shawty knew not to leave Mom�s house before she got mad skills. Shawty was also a Mad Scientist, but she didn�t have to live in the trailer for more than a day before she earned the promotion that allowed her to move into the Goth mansion. Shawty is happy and successful and found love with a young red-haired man named Rod Tutti. They have three sons, Lamaar, Hakim, and Yusuf. Lamaar and Hakim were whisked off to prep school without their parents� consent. Shawty and Rod are keeping Yusuf stupid so that he can stay at home with them. Shawty has become the top Mad Scientist, rising from lowly Lab Cleaner to Death Ray Inventor. She is now pursuing a modeling career. Rod is unemployed, and they like it that way, because someone needs to stay home and do chores and raise the kid.

Believe it or not, I�ve learned a lot from the Sims, lessons that are immediately applicable in real life.

  • Happiness is more important that money.
  • You have to maintain friendships actively. Friendships will die if you don�t tend to them.
  • The same is true for plants.
  • Never cook on an open flame if you know nothing about cooking. You will burn down your house.
  • Not everyone likes the �pull my finger� gag.
  • You cannot study if you aren�t happy. You need to find a balance between fun and work.
  • Clean your plates after you eat. Flush and clean the toilet regularly. A messy house is a source of stress.
  • If you�re feeling low, go visit Mom. She�s cooler than you think.
  • Kids can be very cute. Talk to them and give them horsey rides. But don�t tickle them too hard or you�ll have a puddle on the floor to deal with.

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BLOGOPHILIA

addieplum
ashyknees
bevin
dumbokie
fresh peth
la belle helene
mr. snacks
my adult life
prettygirl
prima
rex kramer
shasta red
sooner
squirma
totally knitting
waterlilysage
yoko
zantimisfit
'zaziel

LINKS







tomato nation
cocktail
heartless bitches
miss manners
bunny survival tests
scary squirrel world
angry alien
not martha
my theme song
j.k. rowling
four word film reviews
chicklit

DIARYRINGS

napqueens
geek-love
anthropology

LISTENING TO: IAM: Ombre et Lumiere

READING: Philosophies of Integration by Adrian Favell

WATCHING: Tiny fake people that I control.

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