CHARISMATIC MEGAFAUNA

By Quiconque

Festival Shmestival

Inspired by and very jealous of Ashyknees, Melbalee, and their Philly film festival going friends, I decided to explore similar options in my city. Imagine my surprise when that very afternoon I found the campus strewn with promotional CDRoms for the Tribeca Film Festival. Ah, I thought, this is going to be my kind of festival. This will be cool and edgy. I mean, it's in Tribeca, right?

So, why is the Olsen twins' New York Minute a feature presentation? I fear the festival may actually serve as its New York premiere. This movie asks us to believe that one of the twins is a "laid-back punk rocker." This movie asks us to believe that the other twin is up "for a prestigious college scholarship." This movie asks us to watch Eugene Levy, I suppose in a continuation of his role in Splash, chase these children around. This movie asks too much.

Another jarring item is Garry Marshall's Raising Helen. Is he reaching for film cred with the gerund in the title? Does he hope we'll confound it with Boxing Helena, Killing Zoe, Educating Rita, Chasing Amy, Finding Forrester, Teaching Mrs. Tingle, or Saving Private Ryan? I guess Kate Hudson in her pum-pum shorts and Uggs really embodies the spirit of the Lower West Side.

But it cannot be all bad. I'm looking forward to seeing Jim Jarmusch's Coffee and Cigarettes. Some of the short films look interesting. Alas, neither Young Adam nor Weeping Camels are on the festival program. I guess I'll have to wait for the bootlegs.
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READING: The Homeward Bounders by Diana Wynne Jones

WATCHING: Infomercials