CHARISMATIC MEGAFAUNA

By Quiconque

What Goes Around, Comes Around, or Undergraduate Flakiness

Those of you who know me from college probably remember that I rarely turned in an assignment on time. My major department, being kind of crunchy and anarchistic, did not take registrar deadlines seriously, and I was able to ride the Incomplete train for a few semesters.

Well, now I�m on the other side of the desk and I must say that Incompletes are a pain in the ass for the professor, too. I want to get on with the business of this semester, not deal with leftovers from last year. But, if a student has turned in some work, and it looks like there�s a chance she will pass if she turns in the rest, the registrar obliges me not to fail the student, but to give her an Incomplete in the hopes that the missing work will materialize by the end of the next semester. If the student does not turn in anything, the registrar takes the matter out of my hands and changes the I to an F on the transcript. It seems like a perfect solution, in a Pontius Pilate sort of way.

You�d think I�d be more sympathetic. But those of you who know me know that sympathy is not one of my strong points. I do try to be understanding. Unlike me, the students I teach have many work and familial responsibilities that often conflict with their studies. (I had the luxury of only my studies to worry about).

The students I teach also need more guidance on how to be college students. So, I was very generous with the advice, warning them about various pitfalls and traps along the way to graduation. �Don�t disappear,� I counseled them. �If you�re having a problem and cannot do your work, talk to me about it and we�ll work something out. Don�t just stop coming to class.�

Despite my best efforts, I did give 4 Incompletes last semester. Only one of those students has contacted me. My conversation with her was enough to discourage me from ever giving out another Incomplete again.

�Hi, Professor Quiconque, this is Unrealistic Student. I got an Incomplete in your class and I want to know how to change it.�

�Well, Unrealistic, you need to do the work. I don�t have my grade book in front of me, but if I gave you an I, that means something was missing.�

�Yes, I didn�t do the last assignment.�

�You mean the [take home] final exam? So, finish the exam and hand it in.�

�But I don�t have the books.�

�The books are still in the library. Get them and do the work.�

�But I didn�t do any of the readings and I didn�t pay attention. I can�t do the exam. Can I take the class over?�

�I don�t know what the rules are for taking classes over.�

�I�m in [a program] that lets me take two classes over.�

�Again, I don�t know what the exact rules are for taking classes over, but I think you actually need to fail a class to be allowed to take it over. Technically, you have not failed this class. Your grade in this class is still unresolved. You�ll need to discuss it with your advisor and the anthropology department. Nevertheless, you cannot take the class again with me, because I�m teaching in a special program this semester.�

�So, I can take the class over?�

�That is not something you negotiate with me. You need to talk to your advisor. But, I still don�t understand why you�d rather take the course again instead of taking a couple weeks and finishing the exam. You�ve already turned in two out of three assignments. How is it easier to take the class again rather than work on the final exam? You have until the end of the semester to get the work to me.�

�The end of the semester? The end of this semester?�

�Yes, otherwise the registrar will fail you. I must warn you that whatever you turn in to me had better be perfect.�

�Oh, okay, thanks.�

I wonder if I�ll hear from her again.

As frustrating as this was, it was not as bad as the time one of my students showed up (an hour late for our appointment) with his entire family to complain about the F he received, only to discover that he had effectively prevented me from giving him credit for his work because he had not written his name on his exam.

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DIARYRINGS

READING: Anthro, anthro, and more anthro. I am too full of social science!

WATCHING: My Free Street families get into all sorts of trouble.