CHARISMATIC MEGAFAUNA

By Quiconque

Our Bodies, Our Selves

Yesterday was another frustrating day with the undergraduates. I try, in the course of the lectures, to address gaps in students� knowledge, especially when these gaps prevent them from understanding the lecture topic. This means that sometimes (often) the lecture is driven off course by someone�s crazy comment or question.

In my first class, I began the lecture on kinship by discussing the current gay-marriage controversy. It was my goal, without being too preachy, to show the kids that any proposal to ban gay marriage is based on a very limited view of the family and ignores that different forms of family life exist throughout the world. Also, marriage is not a limited good that gays will somehow use up and leave nothing for everyone else if they are allowed to do it.

I had barely begun to make my point when the questions about what can �turn� someone gay came up AGAIN. How many times do I have to tell them that 1) no one knows for sure, 2) the �born that way� and �choice� arguments both have their strengths and pitfalls, and 3) it�s not really all that important?! Foolishly thinking that we could move back to kinship, I was then hit with this question: �Why do I always think that gays have AIDS?�

WHAT? First of all, while it might be an indication of my students� regard for my intellectual abilities, I am not at all able to explain someone�s thinking to them. Why does this student have such erroneous ideas is completely beyond me. Second, it�s just wrong and stupid, and it�s very hard for me to respond to blatant stupidity in a way that will not scare students into never opening their mouths in class ever again.

So, mustering all my social science, I told her that excluded groups have always been associated with dirt, disease, and pollution, be they women, immigrants, blacks, or gays. Perhaps this has influenced her thinking. And then I reminded her, bluntly, that if she continues to think of AIDS as a gay disease she will die from it.

I then told her to hightail it over to student health and get some pamphlets. I�d already sent another student to the nurse for pamphlets last week, when he announced that having unprotected sex would result in cancer. Although it�s true that HPV can lead to cervical cancer, there are far more immediate health risks he should be worrying about.

My second class was no less incredible. In a lecture about homosocial friendships, my god-fearing student asked me, �You know when guys say that having sex can make a woman�s breasts and hips get bigger? Is that true?�

I nearly fell down. Where and how do I start dismantling that piece of misinformation?

�Most of you young women don�t know what�s going on with your own bodies. So, how you can expect a guy to know is beyond me. Perhaps he�s feeding you a line, as in, �Hey, baby, get with me and I can make your breasts bigger.��

I scrambled to think of where the confusion may lie.

�Maybe it�s a matter of timing. If you first become sexually active in your 20s, then you will see no change in your body. But, if you start having sex when you�re 14, of course your breasts and hips are going to grow, because you are still growing. And having sex has nothing to do with it. The only way having sex will noticeably change your body is if you get pregnant.�

Other students chimed in, convincing me that this misunderstanding is widespread.

�No, I�ve heard it before. Guys take credit for it. Like, �Your butt�s getting bigger. I did that.�

�Well, maybe it�s a matter of contentment. You�ve got a man, you�re having sex regularly. Maybe you�re eating more because you�re happy and no longer on the prowl. Maybe your ass is getting fat because you�re eating more.�

These young women would benefit from a good book, perhaps the one Mama Ass and Kali have been reading. From an email from Mama Ass:

There is no place in the baby book to mark the milestone where your
child casually asks, "What are those things hanging down on boys'
butts?" (Understand that "butts" is defined in preschool vocabulary as
anything in the pelvic region).

"You mean the thing they use to pee? It's called a penis. Boys have
penises", I say in my most casual tone.

"A PENIS??? DOES MY DADDY HAVE A PENIS???!!!"

"Yes. Your daddy has a penis."

Mr. Ass has been carefully shielding his penis from his daughters since
Kali was a newborn. His secret is out.

She goes to a school where there is a co-ed, multi-stall bathroom with
the adjoining class, and this is where I assume she figured out male
anatomy. She heartily denies this and insists that she found it in a
book in her room. The book appears to be Richard Scarry's "Mr.
Frumble's ABC", but she says it is called "My Vulva Grew Bigger and Bigger." She points out all the pictures of penises in it.

I may invite Kali as a guest lecturer.

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DIARYRINGS

READING: Lonely Planet Guide: Vancouver

WATCHING: Carnivale is the only thing on tv, as far as I'm concerned.